"The cure for pain is in the pain."

The last few days my meditation practices have felt very off, and I can't help but to think that its a direct correlation to the way I'm feeling in my life as well. The amount of thoughts on my mind surpasses the words I actually utter and its no wonder that its now seeping into all aspects of my life, especially those aspects where I usually find peace and clarity.

Being able to move back to my home town and having my mothers (and my rock's) support has been wonderful, but now that I have to "pucker up" and come back to reality -- things really have started to get real for me. Especially this last week.

Even with my firm belief that all things happen for a reason, my mind refuses to rest. I guess when you feel you've lost something as precious as what I feel I have lost (I sincerely hope I haven't), you can’t help but wonder if you’ll ever find or feel something quite like it again.

I, also, found that once a fear, or weakness enters into my practice, it is a sign to me that it is important and relevant and it must be addressed. Once it reaches my full consciousness I can release it and allow it to enlighten me. Until then, I must have faith in this pain and wait.

I'm in the last leg of the race, and just need to continue to push through and create space that is allowing for further enlightenment within these concerns and fears. There is something for me to learn here, I can feel it. There is a light at the end of the road, now I just need to open my heart to it and remember that:

“The cure for pain is in the pain.”

― Rumi